as I rode along on the lake yesterday I silently set holding my sleeping son looking out at the water around me, so big, so calm, quiet amazing and beautiful. I looked down at him often and I know I kissed the top of his head at least five hundred times, knowing that these moments are ever so fleeting. as I continued to bask in the warm sun as it too kissed my baby’s body, I found myself holding him so tightly, not to the point of squeezing him for fear of waking him; but I assure you it was close. as we rode along, traveling several miles we hit waves of other boats that went before us causing a rougher bumpier ride, in his sleep he was startled, he jumped in fear of falling, maybe. in that moment I made sure that I held him just a little tighter assuring him that I had him and that I was not going to let anything happen to him. he dozed back off knowing that he was safe- just by my embrace. and then I thought (because it’s what I do- I’m a thinker an analyzer) whoever invented the hug, the embrace, being held- was right on the money, genius. I remember being a kid, a teenager, when I was sick, or scared or hurting there was nothing, no words that would make me feel any better than my mom or dad hugging me, it was so reassuring feeling that eventually, whatever it was would pass, that I was safe, it made whatever was ailing me feel better. to this day, my favorite thing is to be hugged, to be held, embraced. nothing makes me feel better than getting a big ole’ hug from my hubby after a long trying day or when that boy of mine runs over to me throws those little arms around my legs or my neck and squeezes me so hard that he’s gritting his teeth (which by the way totally makes me cringe, but really, who’s gonna tell him not to do that in the moment?!) as if he’s trying to super-hero squeeze all the life out of me, in turn actually breathing more life into my being, warming my heart. it’s amazing, really, how something so small as taking your arms and wrapping them around someone holds so much power, magnificent power. just this morning the kiddo wasn’t feeling so great, he said, “momma, my belly’s hurting, will you hold me, it will make me feel better,” after minutes of holding him, he assured me that his belly was no longer hurting that “momma, you made it better” and he was on his way, that alone proved my point, my theory. it’s a cure, an emotion, a feeling, an action assuring you how truly special- how important you are, it speaks louder than any words letting you know everything is gonna be ok, that you’re safe, that above all else that you are SO loved. i hug him while he sleeps, my hubby hugs us when he's leaving if we're still asleep, it’s the first thing I do when Lo wakes up in the morning, I hug him sporadically hundreds of times throughout the day, it’s the first thing we do when we see daddy, when we leave from visiting someone special and every night before bed- not counting all those times unmentioned in between. in other words, I don't think I would make it thru a day if I knew I didn’t have a hug to look forward to, if i thought that i couldn't hug my loves, my family. it’s such a good thing, a pure thing, in a world where very few good things exist, where there is very few things that haven’t been tainted; it remains. it’s my go to for all things and it works every time. it makes for a better day, a better life- that’s a promise. I can guarantee it, it’s a been there, done that, been tested again and again and walked away with a t-shirt one hundred percent kind of guarantee! try it, you’ll see, test me and try to prove me wrong. you won’t! ;)
on another note…hey y’all- if there is even a y’all left out there waiting for my writing return. it’s been a while. if you couldn’t tell I have been on a pretty strict hiatus from the blogging-sphere this summer. I have spent my time totally focused on all that’s important. my blog (and most social networking), being the lesser of those things got put on the back burner, rightfully so. as summer is coming to a close closing (man, oh man, at times I can almost feel fall in the air, I’m craving it, y’all, it’s my favorite), I’m going to try my best to be a better blogger, at least a once a week check in. along with summer, fall is a pretty busy time for the H.family (ok, now I’m thinking- what season isn’t?! but if I had to pick busiest…) with all the holidays, the kiddos birthday and such, so I’m gonna do my very best- but no promises. so bear with me if you will, check back periodically, I may surprise you. (I tend to update my facebook and/or twitter (@mommaratzzi) more often, so look me up add me or follow me, sometimes I can be kinda fun.)
