...just Breathe

"At the end of the day, there are some things that you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we cant be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they are what you do. Some things you say because you have no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."

Trials...the word alone makes me shiver and breathe an exasperated breath.

Trials...I have heard are placed on our path to make us stronger, they help shape us into the person that we are destined to become-may I just say- give me a break?!?! Why is it that the harder the mission the greater the outcome, in EVERY situation. (I don't think I REALLY mean that.) But being honest, I think most of the time any of us would be just fine living in a fluffy, sugar coated world. To not be faced with circumstances that cause a war within us. There is nothing worse than going back and forth, back and forth- decision after decision, whats the right thing to do, what am I SUPPOSED to do, how should I handle this. Mostly, I think that its the way we handle our trials that molds us. There are always two options, sometimes more, but its the choice that we make that dictates who we are as a person.

I have been in the midst of a "trial" here lately and it has come as a shock to me, I'm not sure why- I guess a lot of times I just expect more because I know that I would not do whats been done to me. Being publicly slandered. Slander in itself is such an ugly word, a word I don't believe I have ever had to use before now. My character, who I am as a person, who I am as a wife, mom and friend have been spoke of in a manner that at one point broke my heart. Not because I am insecure in who I am, I know exactly who I am and who I want to be and it feels so good to be in that place. It hurt me because I am not the person that I have been made out to be. I know that actions speak louder than words, so I know that I don't have to speak the words to prove who I am, because my characteristics and actions prove that for me. I have found strength in that- strength, that honestly, I did not know I had. I have the greatest support system around me and in my faith. I feel so free knowing that I have handled my trial "like a lady," that I have been the best person I know how to be- and that feels good. I know I have grown as a person- and that my character is much stronger....Now to just add that to my personal resume'.

Life is full of trials. From the day we are born til the day we die, one after another- this is what I have learned, stand tall, be BIG, let the ones who love you hold you, pray every second if you have to and follow your heart and it will set you free.

Trials....when all is said and done, when you KNOW you have done whats right, when the darkness is turning light...God, it feels- oh so good, to... just breathe.

I would like to leave with some GOOD words, you gotta love a good quote!

. "Today you are YOU, that's truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you!"

. "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."-Dr. Seuss

. "I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind- some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, I'm ready you see; now my troubles are going to have troubles with me."

."Our history is what shapes us...guides us."

much Love,

~C~