“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”It's been a little while since I have wrote anything- mostly because of being so busy that I simply don't have the time and then another reason being that at times I am at a loss of words and choose to not write. I don't really want to use every entry for everyday kind of things, even though I do want to highlight life to be remember- more importantly I want about things with meaning. Over the past few weeks I have personally been making a conscious decision to change things about myself that hinder me from being the best all around person that I can be- that my son deserves me to be, my husband and family, that the world deserves me to be. It is my goal in life to be the best person, not the perfect person- but the best and to strive daily to do better- so that I can in turn teach my little up and comer good characteristics- the things that I, personally have learned works or doesn't work. Mistakes that I have made that I have took and learned from to better myself and the world closest to me. I consider myself and not only that, but am vivid proof of a overly happy person. Do I have bad days? Yes. Do I have days that I wish I could crawl in a hole and lay there until the day, feelings, circumstances pass and then come out and carry on being the girl that I am? Yes, I do. However, Do I choose to focus and let the bad overtake the good? NO! It is a daily choice for me to be happy, to see the beauty in everything around me, to soak up the moments because they are ever so fleeting. Honestly, it's not that hard of a task- but in the same sentence there are moments that cloud what I know to be true. I have recently been teaching myself how to be more positive- even though I am an overly happy person- I tend to be more negative about things, circumstances and in being negative it eventually takes pieces of your joy and happiness. I slowly started seeing this happen- I was letting my priorities get out of line- which changed my outlook on things, which made me more negative, gave me a not so 'beautiful' outlook on life and the tomorrows waiting to be today, which in turn made my heart sad. In other words, a catastrophe had happened. Luckily, I saw this happening inside of myself and what it was doing to me and consciously made the decision to change. To everyday remind myself to be more positive- to take whatever it may be that could pose as negative and make it for the good. You might think it is harder than it sounds, that it would take some times- but surprisingly, as luck would have it- because may I just say, it wasnt a bed or roses this catastrophe...it doesn't. It doesn't take long at all, it happens immediatley. It has become the quickest habit that I have ever obtained. It has become a natural way of thinking. Now negativity comes to me at least twice daily, knocks on my hearts door, packaged all beautiful just waiting to attack, and its in those moments that I make that choice to not accept it because I know the outcome. Since my epiphany (lol) I have encouraged my husband to do the same. He on the other hand an always positive person- I still think needs to hear it. Because like I said there are those moments when, doubt, fear, hatred, discouragement, negativity that comes a knocking (because, after all we are human) and we have to be ready and prepared to not give in, to hold steady. I can't begin to describe how much more free I feel since I made the choice and continue to make that choice every hour of everyday. And of course, I encourage you to do the same. Make it a habit to be happy....afterall- "You are what you repeatedly do..."
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